Wounded, hated, hurt and jaded. Emotions we go through more times than a Churchgate local visits Churchgate! They say what doesn’t break us, only makes us stronger. We all know the reality cheque on that bounced long ago. It’s more like what doesn’t break us, wasn’t strong enough to do so. Everyone needs to be broken to be made whole. Some don’t find that inner fire to weld the breaks together. Some do. Many rather live broken. In a disposable culture, it’s just easier.
Notice how we’ve stopped repairing and started replacing? It starts with ordinary things like an iron whose coil needs to be changed. We go out and buy a new one. Saves us the trouble. The sad thing about ideas is that they don’t go through a trickle down effect till it’s sometimes too late. They begin small, move higher and then finally spread everywhere. Same with the idea of a disposal age. From an iron to a marriage, to societies and cultures. If they don’t work, we don’t fight, don’t try, don’t repair. Damaged and disposed. Serve the ego. So much so, those who really fight, land up with indelible scars. But has anyone ever stopped and wondered where it’s got us or how many people suffer? And in a country low on good psychological help and high on the need for it, it’s no wonder.
Have you listened to some of the music being made today? Seen the amount of songs written on hurt and pain and someone telling you through a song, let me be there for you? ‘I want to be your superman tonight.’ I’ve heard 9 in 2 weeks. Statistics don’t always lie. And many a time a failed marriage, a dying culture, a broken relationship, a breaking heart, a dead teenager, all become just that, another statistic!
Take a look at Bon Jovi’s Superman Tonight or Armin Van Buuren’s Broken Tonight, both speak about broken people and someone promising to help them. Who’s that someone special for you? Who’s that one person you can turn to when the lights go down? Who’s the one person who turns to you? Or as Bon Jovi says, ‘Who's going to save you when the stars fall from your sky? And who's going to pull you in when the tide gets too high? Who's going to hold you when you turn out the lights?’
I particularly remember a visit to India from a female actor. If I’m not mistaken it was Ashley Judd. She spoke about something very poignant and honestly, till that moment, I never believed that there was a single other person on God’s green earth other than I, who believed in this simple act. She very simply stated about her work with abused and abandoned children and women that she always told them the same thing. When they were weak and had no faith in themselves, when they were so broken and in pain, they couldn’t even cry, she asked them simply to let her carry their burden for a while, till they were strong enough to take over. And more importantly, to allow her to cry for them till they found the strength to cry their own tears.
For me, that’s always been a way to help someone since when I was in school. I was pleasantly surprised to know that someone else did the same. It’s an exhilarating feeling, knowing that you can be there for someone. Do you know what one of the most treasured gifts in this life is? To have someone whom you know for a fact doesn’t trust anyone come up to you and tell you 3 simple words – I trust you. It opens up doors to lasting friendship and it opens you to the fact that you hold a treasure in your hand more precious than anything you can ever imagine. Remember the disposal culture I mentioned earlier? Makes it also very hard to trust. Don’t treat the gift lightly.
If you need a shoulder to lean on, ASK. If you can be a shoulder to lean on, OFFER. Remember the footprints in the sand story? For me it’s always been slightly different. Every time I walked I always saw two sets of prints in the sand. But in the rotten times, none of the two sets belonged to me. Strange? Not really. In the good times it was my friends and I. In the bad, the footprints belonged to God and the friends who have always been by my side. I was the one being carried but by two people. So whose footprints will you be today and who will be yours someday?
It’s a universal truth that you aren’t alone.
As Collin Raye said, ‘I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too. So we're really not that different. Me and you.’
Pas a Pas se va luènh
