I do not hold YOU responsible

Dear Male of the Species,

You stand

Head low

Ashamed beyond measure

I do not hold YOU responsible

You stand

Fists clenched

Angry at your helplessness

I do not hold YOU responsible

You stand

Wondering why

Irritated with your gender

I do not hold YOU responsible

You stand

Blaming yourself

Wishing for things to change

I do not hold YOU responsible

You stand

Waiting to steal back time

Wanting to snatch that moment

I do not hold YOU responsible

You stand

Protecting us

Being the change

I do not hold YOU responsible

You stand

By our side

Teaching us to protect ourselves

I do not hold YOU responsible

You stand

Burying your head

Offering solace from within even when you are without

I do not hold YOU responsible

You stand

Now wishing fairytales were true

Wanting to be…

Knight in shining armour

Sweeping us away from the horror

Prince Charming

Banishing evil and saving us

Woodcutter

Cutting open the wolf and baring him to the world

Huntsman

Feeding the poisoned apple to evil itself

Frog Prince

Kissing it all alright

Beast

Loving tenderly, waiting long and keeping innocence intact

Pied Piper

Leading the scum of the earth to their fate and virtue whereit belongs

Genie in the lamp

Making true those three wishes

Genie in the ring

Being the guiding light

Fairy Godfather

Always making us feel like the princesses we are

Guardian Angel

Using the needle of your compass to sew up our broken hearts

Piggy who built his house of bricks

Making sure no huff or puff can ever blow us away

Or maybe even the glass slipper

Revealing the beauty and the true identity of a woman

You can’t stand it no more

You don’t know how to be strong

You don’t know what to do

I do not hold YOU responsible

Your support helps us find balance

Your voice speaks volumes

Your tears mean more than you’ll ever know

You’re not broken just bent

You are NOT part of THAT species

That must only destroy, maim and slaughter

I do not hold YOU responsible

So,

Stand

By our side

Head held high

Protecting from within and without

Taking your place

To heal

To have

To hold

Innocence

Virtue

Purity

I do not hold YOU responsible

I hold you CLOSE

I will not hold YOU responsible

As you give me that sense of safety

That I only get from within myself

I, SIMPLY, CANNOT HOLD YOU RESPONSIBLE

- Ayesha Dominica (April 23, 2013)

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Sometimes heaven is...

Sometimes heaven is just a night out chilling with friends, sipping on some beer under the moonlight

Sometimes heaven is just listening to stories

Sometimes heaven is listening to stories of real people and real incidents

Sometimes heaven is a bike ride at 2 a.m. with the wind in your hair

Sometimes heaven is a blowjob from the wind

Sometimes heaven is a bowl of Maggi noodles

Sometimes heaven is the sunrise on your face when you wake up in the morning

Sometimes heaven is the moonlight on your face when you fall asleep at night

Sometimes heaven is a dance beneath the stars

Sometimes heaven is lying in someone’s arms

Sometimes heaven is watching over someone while they sleep

Sometimes heaven is playing Need for Speed

Sometimes heaven is searching for music

Sometimes heaven is nothing but a smile

Sometimes heaven is putting a smile on someone’s face

Sometimes heaven is a hug

Sometimes heaven is giving a hug

Sometimes heaven is a simple I Love You

Sometimes heaven is a book

Sometimes heaven is a glass of liquid sunshine

Sometimes heaven is high heels and a short skirt

Sometimes heaven is a lesson well learnt

Sometimes heaven just walks on by

But always, always, heaven is you…

Ayesha Dominica
April 19, 2013


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Invaded

Invaded

Taken

Innocence Tainted

Broken

A spirit muted

Controlled

Locked inside

Raided

Robbed of virtue

Wrecked

Reality altered

Damaged

Left for dead

Shattered

Soul fragmented

Maimed

Brutally torn apart

Exposed

Bared open

Naked

Alone amidst the throng

- Ayesha Dominica Singh

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The Girl Who Lost Her Smile

After many years, the words have finally made themselves to paper. What started many years ago as just the last verse, slowly but surely took shape. The heart speaks slowly and the soul...slower... finally...here's... the girl who lost her smile... ;) (P.S. - Read verses on the left and then the ones on the right ;)) you can also download the image after enlarging it and right clicking... 

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When...

When sleep evades
When there's a time of indecision between the bedroom and the door
When your bed and your body become strangers
When the sheets hold but a whisper of your scent
When adrenaline and numbness coexist
When every emotion makes a meteoric rise to the top
When you've scaled every zenith and plundered every nadir
Then you will know the path I trod
Then you will follow the lines I walk
Then you will realise the high price I pay
To just be me...

Tonight I swear I'd sell my soul to be a hero for you…

Sometimes you hurt so much you don’t know where you begin and the hurt ends. Sometimes it hurts that much because you’re feeling someone else’s pain. So really, you don’t know where their pain ends and yours begins.

Gifts can be curses. But these gifts never come with a warning label. A gift that enables you to live your life feeling the core of everyone’s deepest pain?!? It bleeds your heart out till you want to cut it out yourself. You can’t do much, because it’s another’s wound. Till the pain stops for them, yours will continue.

They hurt. You feel damaged. They bleed. You feel bled. They cry. You weep your heart out. But here comes the kicker. You do it silently. No one knows. While they vent, all you get to do is feel. For after all, why would anyone understand that they aren’t suffering alone? Everyone believes that no one can get what they are going through.

So you watch, you wait, you listen and you feel. You see them avoid the topic, you watch them wrestle those inner demons, you observe them fighting the tears.Till then you suffer silently. And you wait for them to say, ‘I can’t take this no more. I’m laying down my armour. Please take over the fight for me.’

And your heart sings with joy.

For, once they fall asleep; you can finally reach deep within and try and reach those demons and you can’t help but let those tears fall. Drop by painful drop. Drop by beautiful drop. Painful, because they aren’t yours. Beautiful, because they’ve been entrusted to you.

Now the real fight begins. The tussle between the healing and the wanting to hurt more. Because contrary to popular belief, hurt is very hard to let go off.

And you wrestle and you grapple and you struggle and you brawl. You dredge up your past to fight someone else’s scary present. You pull on reserves buried so deep; each rise to the surface is like a blade through the vein. But it’s a process. So you do it. With clinical precision. It will probably leave you empty or hollow for days. But it’s done.

And while you lie broken to the core, shattered through every pore, you see the person whose pain you bore; happy, smiling, healing, getting closure, moving on, growing strong. And the exhaustion that you felt only death could probably cure, slowly begins to ebb, slowly begins to return feeling and slowly knits back together the fabric of your core.

You’re ready for the next one. ‘Bring it on,’ shouts your heart. ‘Put ‘em up,’ screams your soul. ‘Come and get me,’ says your body. ‘Next!’ Screeches your mind! Because it’s now time for another story, other demons and hurts yet to be visited, friends in need yet to be discovered, battles yet to be fought...

So why, tell me why, you won’t let me be your superman tonight? Because tonight, I swear I'd sell my soul to be a hero for you…

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Learning to paint the colours of the wind

Did you know that dogs are colour-blind? They don’t seen colour, just like we can’t see time. We can feel it passing, but we can’t see it. It’s just a blur. It’s like we’re riding in a supersonic train and the world’s just blowing by. But hearing the unfinished tracks of Kailasa’s Rangeele at the bloggers meet made me feel that I could stop that train, get out, look around and see time for what it really is – a universe, a world, a thing, as unimaginable as colour to a dog. Hearing each track made me feel like the dog who saw a rainbow!

Learning to paint the colours of the wind

Ayesha Dominica Almeida

Every once in a while there comes something that changes the way you feel or think. But that’s so easy to do. After all, a tsunami can prompt the re-charting of an entire globe. But imagine something that settles in quiet as the morning dew. And makes you feel more impassioned or more wild about life itself. Like the rediscovery of a long forgotten hobby or maybe even the learning of a new art or, as I discovered, the new Kailasa album Rangeele.

An evolved sound, a freshness seldom felt now-a-days, a better togetherness, reality and truth personified, are just some of the many things you will feel and see in the new Kailasa album Rangeele. You will step into a world of love, passion, rambunctiousness, solitude, and a better understanding of how a world, when infused with colour, changes the way we look at things. 12 songs come together seamlessly to speak of concepts often felt, yet not always expressed well in words. From start to finish Rangeele embodies the Aldous Huxley saying, “After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.”

Each person from Kailasa has come together seamlessly to create a work of art. From the notes pouring out of each instrument to the words coming out of each soul, the colour of sound comes out with passion and paints on the canvas of silences a picture so loud, that it could only be describing life itself!

Each track forces you to face a reality, as it gives you glimpses of fantasy. But it also shows how sometimes reality is just an illusion. The mechanisms of the scenes unfolding in each of the 12 tracks are but a play of light and shadow — a chimerical chiaroscuro, as the album unfolds in the sepia-toned landscape of your eyes.

Some of the tracks of Rangeele evoked feelings that I couldn’t hold back…

O Rangeele

Sometimes a word is worth a 1000 pictures. Every word in ‘O Rangeele’ paints a different picture. A phantasmagoric saga of the colours of life itself.

Albeliyah

Soothing. Soulful. Colourful. Paints a million pictures in shades of blue and red.

Tu kya jaane

The song feels like you are personally being asked the question and it’s being sung only for you.

Yaadan teriyan

It evokes pictures of flowing rivers, cascading mountains, and clouds running through your hands. It brings forth colours that soothe, yet set you on fire.

Bab-baji

Sheer tranquility. Bab-baji portrays sheer joy. It instills in your heart the kind of safety only you can give yourself.

Katha Gaan

It makes you think of a painter splashing colours around a huge canvas. You feel that it’s all one big mish-mash of colour and then you take a step back and realise that the complete picture is too stunning to even describe.

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