Tonight I swear I'd sell my soul to be a hero for you…

Sometimes you hurt so much you don’t know where you begin and the hurt ends. Sometimes it hurts that much because you’re feeling someone else’s pain. So really, you don’t know where their pain ends and yours begins.

Gifts can be curses. But these gifts never come with a warning label. A gift that enables you to live your life feeling the core of everyone’s deepest pain?!? It bleeds your heart out till you want to cut it out yourself. You can’t do much, because it’s another’s wound. Till the pain stops for them, yours will continue.

They hurt. You feel damaged. They bleed. You feel bled. They cry. You weep your heart out. But here comes the kicker. You do it silently. No one knows. While they vent, all you get to do is feel. For after all, why would anyone understand that they aren’t suffering alone? Everyone believes that no one can get what they are going through.

So you watch, you wait, you listen and you feel. You see them avoid the topic, you watch them wrestle those inner demons, you observe them fighting the tears.Till then you suffer silently. And you wait for them to say, ‘I can’t take this no more. I’m laying down my armour. Please take over the fight for me.’

And your heart sings with joy.

For, once they fall asleep; you can finally reach deep within and try and reach those demons and you can’t help but let those tears fall. Drop by painful drop. Drop by beautiful drop. Painful, because they aren’t yours. Beautiful, because they’ve been entrusted to you.

Now the real fight begins. The tussle between the healing and the wanting to hurt more. Because contrary to popular belief, hurt is very hard to let go off.

And you wrestle and you grapple and you struggle and you brawl. You dredge up your past to fight someone else’s scary present. You pull on reserves buried so deep; each rise to the surface is like a blade through the vein. But it’s a process. So you do it. With clinical precision. It will probably leave you empty or hollow for days. But it’s done.

And while you lie broken to the core, shattered through every pore, you see the person whose pain you bore; happy, smiling, healing, getting closure, moving on, growing strong. And the exhaustion that you felt only death could probably cure, slowly begins to ebb, slowly begins to return feeling and slowly knits back together the fabric of your core.

You’re ready for the next one. ‘Bring it on,’ shouts your heart. ‘Put ‘em up,’ screams your soul. ‘Come and get me,’ says your body. ‘Next!’ Screeches your mind! Because it’s now time for another story, other demons and hurts yet to be visited, friends in need yet to be discovered, battles yet to be fought...

So why, tell me why, you won’t let me be your superman tonight? Because tonight, I swear I'd sell my soul to be a hero for you…

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